"To observe that life is absurd is not an end, but a beginning."

I saw a short video on TV this evening where a girl had just blown out her candles on her birthday cake. Whoever made the cake had put some sort of remote controlled/activated flip-top mechanism in it so that when she was sort of leaning over it, most of the icing on the top of the cake flew up into her face. I LOVE shit like that.

My brother-in-law is having a birthday in a couple weeks. It's going to be on Friday, April 13th, so it's a surprise "Friday the 13th" themed party with bad-luck themed decorations and such (black cats, open umbrellas indoors, spilled salt, broken mirrors, ladders to walk under, etc.). I would LOVE to be able to make an exploding cake like this for his party.

If I can pull it off, I won't tell ANYONE about it and just keep the remote in my pocket and set it off at the appropriate time. That way no one will see it coming and accidentally ruin the joke... plus I think the surprise would be on everyone else nearly as much as on my brother-in-law. I think several of his cousins might wet their pants laughing, and I'm all for laughing so hard that you lose control of your urinary sphincter!

Unfortunately, in order to make this work I need to find some sort of spring loaded mechanism that can be activated by remote control, is small enough to place in the cake under the icing, and is strong enough to propel a decent amount of icing about a foot or so. I've done some random internet searches for things like small remote controlled jack-in-the-boxes (no, they don't exist), but I'm drawing a blank here. I can't find what I need and I can't think of anything that could be adapted to this purpose.

Does anyone have any ideas as to what sort of device might lend itself to this evil purpose? Any and all advice would be greatly appreciated. Thanks! ;-)

Current Mood: devious

This is our newest cat, Sophie. She is superbly ugly. We adopted her from Animal Rescue. Her back story is that she came from one of those houses where the owner hoards animals and there were apparently 80 cats or so there. As some of you may know, Bart and I only adopt cats with physical and/or emotional problems... Sophie is no exception, though we didn't realize the full extent of it for some time.

She had an upper respiratory infection as a kitten which spread to both her eyes. That's why she always looks like she's squinting at you. She has scar tissue in both eyes and the pupils are a bit crossed and mishapen. Sometimes I think she has trouble finding stationary objects, like her smaller toys and she's not very good at judging jumping distances. This same illness caused scarring in respiratory tract as well so she snores and snorts rather loudly and often sports that annoying "nose whistle" thing when she exhales.

In addition, I think she has some sort of Irritable Bowel Syndrome because no matter what we feed her, she always has stinky diarrhea that can make your eyes water. She also vomits fairly often, backing up as she does so, leaving a loooooong line of vomit for us to step in later. She is a shameless butt-licker and consequently has abominable halitosis to top everything off. And she likes to sleep on my face.

Sophie is also an attention hog. She regularly chases poor Dottie (who has the soul of a wildebeest) and steps on Marty's head (soul of a lion) to pick fights. For these and innumerable other reasons I have decided that Sophie has the soul of a hyena.

But we love her anyway... someone has to, I suppose!

Yeah, the Senator Theater in Baltimore is about to be auctioned off as well.

People are going to be sorry when they wake up one day and the only places to go are Wal-Mart, McDonald's and Starbucks.

Current Mood: cynical

Attention all Baltimore Slightly Irregulars!!!

Remember how much you coveted all those awesome sideshow pieces when we went to the Dime Museum in Baltimore two years ago? Well, they apparently have not been able to solve their financial woes since their closing and are liquidating the majority of their assets on February 26th, 2007 at 5pm EST.

I am so there...

Those of you for whom a trip to Charm City would be exorbitant, not to mention last minute, will be happy to know that it is being simulcast as a live auction through ebay.


I noticed that not EVERYTHING is listed to be sold. Notable exclusions would include the Fiji Mermaid and the Gum Statue, but there's still a ton of crazy stuff going up for sale... like that scent recorder machine, a sea devil, that big fat guy mannequin, a couple mummies, the deer with the laser on its nose, several creative squirrel taxidermy motifs, various signage, just to name a few. I think there's nearly 300 items listed.

I'm wondering what sort of turnout they'll get for this thing. I just happened upon it myself, but they don't hold an auction like this everyday.

I'm distressed that the Dime Museum had to close its doors and sell all its shit, but if it's going to happen, I guess I'd like to have a piece of it at my house.

I'm interested to hear your thoughts on the matter. Also, if there are any choice pieces that you wanted, you could give me a heads up about what they are and what your maximum bid would be and I'd be happy to act as your proxy bidder since I plan to be there in person.

Current Mood: contemplative

Hey, all!
My internet connection at home is TEH CRAP right now. We don't get a good signal except at VERY off times when no one else is using the internet. Consequently, I have not been able to read or comment in LJ for over a week.

Hopefully I will be back in the swing of things soon. :-(

If I ever make a movie, I want it to be just like Octaman. No, I want it to BE Octaman. This film is a cimematic masterpiece light years ahead of its time.

I also want an Octaman costume so I can wear it to family functions... like easter dinner and my nephew's eventual baptism.

Here's a link to my Flickr account so you people can check out my hot photos from this past weekend. This should serve the dual purpose of partailly satiating your hunger for news of the awesomeness that was Horrorfind 2006 & the Baltimore Slightly Irregulars Tour and whetting your appetite for my forthcoming narrative write-up.

Enjoy!

Current Mood: blank

This is me acting the fool at the National Museum of Dentistry!

I know I need to do my mighty write-up about the Slightly Irregulars Tour and Horrorfind 2006, but I think I'm still letting it all soak in and recovering from the intense awesomeness. In short, I will write about it, but not today.

Instead I will do this meme from serizawa3000:
Go here and look through random quotes until you find 5 that reflect who you are or what you believe. Repost in your journal and tag 5 friends.

1. Living hell is the best revenge.
Adrienne E. Gusoff
US teacher, humorist and greeting card writer

2. Efficiency is intelligent laziness.
Anonymous

3. I believe that every human has a finite number of heart-beats. I don't intend to waste
any of mine running around doing exercises.
Buzz Aldrin (1930 - )
Astronaut

4. My loathings are simple: stupidity, oppression, crime, cruelty, soft music.
Vladimir Nabokov (1899 - 1977)

5. Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal.
Albert Camus (1913 - 1960)

I guess I'll tag: dr_ninjapants, ghostgecko, drworm, kleenexwoman and lily_lemony

Current Location: On my ass
Current Mood: bored

Here's a pic of Mason Thomas Pugh, born this evening at 5:51pm, 8lbs. 13oz., 21" long:





And guess who was right there through the whole thing holding my sister's right leg up in the air and counting reassuringly... Yeah, that's right! It was me. My mom said she knew paying for all my college tuitions would pay off someday.

Current Mood: chipper
Current Music: "That's When I Reach for my Revolver" - Mission of Burma

Our Urology Museum appointment is confirmed and Dr. Engel is raring to go! See below:

You bet you guys are still on! How much time do I have, since I can go on forever on this subject. I truly look forward to see you again, and remember: next year it will be all about 'Medicine Women', way back when, yesterday, today and tomorrow.

RME

OMG, YES! Thank you PPDOC!

Current Mood: tired

So I wrote an email to Dr. Engel's assistant, Ms. Tupper Stevens, at the Urology Museum to confirm our appointment for this Friday morning. Apparently she'd on vacation because I received this automatic out of office reply:

I am out of the office until August 14th. If you would like to get in touch with Dr. Rainer Engel, curator of the Didusch museum, please e-mail ppdoc@msn.com.

Look closely my friends... his email address is fucking PPDOC@msn.com! What a phenomenal weirdo. I love him. I wonder if Ms. Stevens thought it was funny to leave that for the general public or if she really just didn't expect anyone to write?

It sort of reminds me of when my friend at William & Mary, who worked for the campus telecommunications office, put a Snoop Dog tape on in place of the normal hold music for the phones and then called everyone he knew so he could put them on hold. He got fired for that, which was awesome.

In other news, my sister, who currently looks like she's smuggling a watermelon a la the Jane's Addiction video from several years ago, is having her offspring induced tomorrow at 6:15am. I have to go to work, but I should be back just in time to miss all the gross stuff. Also, I'm thankful that it won't interfere with Horrorfind or the Slightly Irregulars Tour, which was beginning to worry me.

Everything's working out, kids!

Current Mood: hungry

Ok.
So Horrorfind and the Slightly Irregulars tour are rapidly approaching and I'm not quite sure what's going on yet...

I know I'm still game and I'm pretty sure Daryn is. How about Seth?... Are you still in? Lew, are you still planning on coming to the Slightly Irregulars tour, but not Horrorfind? I just need some sort of idea who's going to what. You can leave comments here or write me an email. I just haven't heard back from anyone lately and I want to enter the planning stages of the Irregulars tour.

For everyone who is planning on attending the Irregulars tour, give me some feedback on the destinations. We can probably do about 4-5 of the things I listed a few posts ago, so everyone tell me what your top choices would be. I found out we can go in the catacombs of Wesminister Hall if we want, I just need to confirm our time and I figure the Urology Museum is a go... that's been confirmed with Dr. Engel & Ms. Stevens.

So the other choices are: the Tattoo Museum, Edgar Allen Poe's House & Museum, the Visionary Arts Museum, Westminister Hall & Burial Grounds, & Museum of Dentistry. Or if you all have come up with something else, I'd be game to hear about it and fit it in.

Well, tickets for the Full Moon Road Show go on sale tomorrow! With an on-stage beheading at every show, I think $12 is a bargain. They're having it at the Have a Nice Day Cafe in Baltimore, which should be a better venue than the Senator Theater... at least they sell beer.

Current Mood: headachey

Check it out, peeps!

Full Moon Road Show poster

It's kinda big... sorry.

Thanks to gelosia for the LJ nudge. It was about time I got off my ass and posted again... especially since I've got news about the planning of the 2nd Annual Baltimore Slightly Irregulars Tour for Horrorfind weekend.

So, Horrorfind runs from about 5pm August 11th until about 4pm August 13th. That's a Friday through a Sunday for those of you who need assistance with such things. I've already got two hotels rooms booked for the nights of the 11th and 12th. One for Lew & Seth and one for myself and Daryn. The cost of the rooms with the convention discount is $113/night so each person owes $113 for the weekend. Not TOO steep, I think, especially considering our proximity to the action and the chance of clandestine meetings with celebrities in the elevators or upper level corridors.

I also accept no-interest payment plans for anyone who may be a bit light at the time of the convention. No biggie.

I figured Friday, before the convention opens, the Slightly Irregulars could bop around Charm City again to take in some more (slightly) odd sites. Here's what I've come up with so far, but please feel free to make suggestions or vetoes based on your own preferences:

The William P. Didusch Museum of Urology
This one goes without saying, I think. Especially since this year's theme is Sexual Dysfunction. I've already contacted them about a guided tour with Dr. Rainer Engel and his archivist, the always accommodating Ms. Tupper Stevens replied:

"We would be happy to have you. The Sexuality Exhibit is up and running! Dr. Engel is in on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays until September, so if you would like him to give you a tour, those are good days to pick."

Well, it just so happens we want to come on a Friday, so we're in luck!

The Dr. Samuel D. Harris National Museum of Dentistry
This looks pretty hilarious, I think. They have an exhibit called "Saliva: An Remarkable Fluid"... it just doesn't get better than that. Plus this joint has a gift shop: I covet the molar-shaped footstool.

The Great Blacks in Wax Museum
Haha! Just kidding. We're NOT going here again... even if they are still selling this T-shirt. **REMEMBER...**

The Baltimore Tattoo Museum
This looks different, but relatively short... like a slightly irregular museum petit four, unless of course someone decided to commemorate the occasion with a little impromptu skin decorating.

The Westminister Hall & Burial Grounds
I know we went here last year to see Poe's grave, but we couldn't get in and this year I thought I could make some phone calls and see if we could get a tour... that would include the catacombs, naturally.

In 1796, the Presbyterian Church moved its graves from their original location north of the city to their current home. Unfortunately, they encountered the same problems at the new site - every time it rained, the water table would rise, pushing coffins and bodies to the surface. The immediate solution was to cover the graves with heavy monuments and ornate stone markers, which in time became a prime target for vandals. So, building directly above the graves and thus creating catacombs, the church erected Westminster Hall, which functioned as a religious facility until 1977. Now managed by the University of Maryland School of Law and the Westminster Preservation Trust, the site is probably best known as the final resting place of Edgar Allan Poe, although it also boasts an antique Johnson pipe organ... and those creepy catacombs.

Anyway, let me know what you think about this one and if people are into it, I'll try and arrange the tour. It's also right next to the Dentistry Museum, if you'll remember.

The Edgar Allen Poe House & Museum

"This place gives me the creeps!" Vincent Price, 1977

That's enough for me!

The American Visionary Art Museum
This place is CRAZY! Imagine a museum full of artwork done by people who are institutionalized... or should be. I went here during my Psych rotation in nursing school to see an exhibit of miniature pictures made from embroidered sock lint. Thank you Johns Hopkins School of Nursing for having such an open mind about clinical field trips!

Anyway, that's about all I have for now. We can probably manage to do about 4-5 of these things depending on how long they take and when they're open, but I can work out some sort of a schedule when we decide where we want to go.

Anyway, I look forward to your feedback! Enjoy!

Current Mood: weird

Is it just me... or is this shirt totally rad?


But seriously... can a t-shirt REALLY be worth $50... no matter how awesome it is? This guy MUST be high. Especially when the colors of all the shirts are white, black or grey. I think red would have been a good choice for the Death shirt. I like color.

I own the Smoking Mickey shirt by this same guy, but I'm sure I didn't pay that much for it... unless I was high, too.

Come to think of it... I haven't seen it lately. I wonder where it's gone.

Current Mood: hungry

So this was in the necronomiphiles group a few days ago... a Cthulhu movie? Yes, please! And call me crazy, but doesn't the guy on the stairs featured on the main page look a lot like Jeffrey Combs? Actually it looks like Jeff playing Milton Dammers! I think so, anyway.

So I taped The Man WHose Arms Exploded last night but I haven't watched it yet. I think I'll be sorely disappointed since it seems to have something to do with steroids and achieving 28-inch biceps, which is pretty boring... unless they explode at the end... and I mean EXPLODE! I'll keep my fingers crossed.

I watched a couple other shows on the same channel last night that were pretty decent. the first was called Half Man, Full Life and was about this guy who walked around on his hands and ran a satellite installation business. The next show, The Smallest People in the WOrld was really cool. It was about primordial dwarfism. It was more a report on the social effects on children growing up with the anomaly, but I think it could have used a bit more science, if you know what I mean.

Current Mood: devious

For those of you who expressed interest in The Man Whose Arms Exploded, TLC is replaying the episode on the evening of May 29th. The time escapes me at the moment, but I set up an email reminder for myself for three days ahead of time, so I'll let you know the exact time as we approach the magnificent occasion!

I hope it's as good as I've built it up to be. You'd think with a title like that you couldn't go wrong, but I was certainly disappointed with I Am My Own Twin. What a teaser!

Current Mood: chipper

I bought an ARC copy of Book of the Dead today on eBay. I wasn't going to, but then I read about all of you guys reading them and I just couldn't help myself. Besides, ever since they started coming out, I've had to stay away from the Preston/Child website for fear that my willpower would be insufficient to keep me out of threads where I didn't belong. Anyway, I got it for $68 or so, which isn't too bad since I've seen them go for much more lately.

This is random: When Bart and I were at the grocery store (Safeway) a few weeks ago, we saw a produce clerk using a shop vac to suck all the loose onion skins off the white onion display. For some reason, that struck me as absolutely hilarious. So, Lew... I was wondering if this is standard practice at Safeway or if perhaps this young lad was just ahead of his time in maintaining onion display aesthetics? I am truly intrigued because it seems like a really good idea.

I taught the Neuro Assessment class twice today and all went well. The first class ran a little long because Dr. Pula (hippie Santa) kept talking and adding stuff, but he kept his trap shut for the most part during the second class, so the timing was perfect. Everyone did well on the post tests... including the two nurses I had to chase down later because they had failed to turn over the test and do the back side of it. *sigh*

We got the community college non-credit class catalog in the mail today. I'm thinking about taking something, but I'm not sure yet. Hmmm... so many choices: Beginning Ballroom Dancing I (um, no), Conversational Arabic (???), Aromatherapy: The Basics (LOL), Poison Prevention (why?), Trench & Excavation Safety (*snerk*)... and they actually have a public speaking course entitled Naked at the Podium (LMFAO). I wish they offered one on astronomy or mischievous chemistry or something.

I thought for a while I wanted to join the volunteer EMT/fire department for Harford County, too, but I never got around to doing that. I'll have to give it some thought and see if I'm ready to make a commitment like that.

There was a show on the Health channel the other night called The Man Whose Arms Exploded... and I MISSED it! I am so pissed off.

Current Mood: retarded

I don't remember if I've ever mentioned my freshman psych classes and the awesome film about Rusty, the narcoleptic dog to any of you before, but regardless, I think you'll enjoy this short video clip. One of my college friends sent it to me the other day along with an extremely trippy film about protein synthesis (also a favorite of our freshman life science group). What a welcome blast from the past. This clip always makes me laugh, especially because it's a dachshund, though I can't exactly explain why that makes it funnier.

My mom, my sister & I scattered my grandmother's ashes in the water at Havre de Grace today. It really needed to be done (since she died about two and a half years ago), but I guess my mom just needed some time to figure out what she wanted to do. It went very well and was duly respectful. Also, we didn't have any brushes with law enforcement, which was good, since I'm pretty sure it's illegal to just scatter someone wherever you want... though I don't believe it should be... unless it was in your neighbor's swimming pool or something.

Then we went to lunch on the water and I had a soft-shell crab sandwich... YUM! They are so good, but still sort of creepy when you think about exactly what you're chewing on.

Tomorrow I have to teach one of the new classes I wrote for some of the nurses at work. It's to teach them how to do an efficient, yet clinically comprehensive neurological exam in preparation for the opening of the Neuroscience Progressive Care Unit (NSPCU). Wish me some luck... their physical assessment skills are a bit lacking, from what I understand. At Hopkins, nurses all did cranial nerve exams and full neuro checks as part of our normal assessments, so I guess I just took it for granted that ALL neuro nurses did that, too. Not so, apparently.

Later on I'll be giving a class on Basic Cardiac Dysrhythmia Interpretation and another one on Common Neurological Diagnoses likely to be encountered in the aforementioned unit. Plus, I found out early last week that a bunch of the nurses on the Rehab unit, for which I am also responsible, failed their FIM tests. The FIM is basically a system used to rate the physical abilities of rehab patients for insurance reimbursement purposes, so it's a big deal financially. So I have to come up with some sort of remedial training class for them, too... even though I'm not a rehab nurse and have never filled out a FIM in my life. *sigh*

So as you can see, I have my plate overflowing at work. Still, I really like the job and I actually feel like I'm making progress toward goals and contributing to growing a good program. It makes me feel weird to say things like that because I feel like I'm a goddammned motivational speaker, but it's true. Maybe it's just extreme relief that I'm not doing my old job anymore. Whatever, I'd much rather deal with this new set of headaches than the ones I had to deal with before.

And the doctor I work with a lot, Dr. Pula, is insane... but in a good way. He looks like a cross between an old hippy and Santa Claus.

Current Mood: anxious
Current Music: the dryer tumbling my comforter